Feeling Fat and Frumpy

Yes, I'm fat/overweight/obese whatever term you want to use here. Yes, I acknowledge it. Yes, I am trying to do something about it.

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Do the above yeses make me feel better/thinner/less depressed. The answer is NO. I think I'm feeling like this today because my monthly (AF) is due. And I feel like I just want to eat. And I've already eaten more than what I should have for the day. By breakfast! Goodness! This needs to stop. I completely sabotage myself. Every. Day. I've gotten my macros calculated. So I know how many calories I'm supposed to consume daily. I have Kayla's workout kit. I have A New Weigh and Gaelyn and the girls for support. So why do I do this????

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I don't know but I am working on it. I read recently from this blog I'm reading (Diary of An Aspiring Loser) about positive thinking and how she conditioned herself and her brain that she loves to run. I need to do the same and start with positive thinking about my eating. "I will overcome this eating disorder. I will be a better eater and make better, healthier choices. I will beat this obsession with eating and only use food to fuel my body. I love food but I don't love the bad things that make me fat, lethargic, unhealthy. I love vegetables! Yes I have a problem with food now but I am working on it and I will be great at making good food choices and not feel bad when I do make unhealthy choices."

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I need to print that and put it everywhere I can. 

Ok, so I mentioned that I cut out Coke and all other gassy drinks. I have been doing very well. It's been 8 days since I last had any. I need to start thinking of the next thing I'm going to cut/include. I think for the last week, in cutting out the Coke, I've replaced that with a packet of chips/chocolate/sweets and I need to cut that out. I need to find a replacement though. Something that will beat that sweet craving that hits around 3pm. Maybe an apple? Or should I just go with a cup of tea so long (I haven't cut out the sugar in my tea). I'll decide. I want to start next Monday, so that it's 2 weeks between cutting/including something from my diet. 

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I want to start exercising at home as well. I'll probably start in the evenings for now. And just something light, like a few squats, lunges, and maybe throw in a plank. I feel like I need to start moving and I'm going to start tonight. I will do 2 x sets of 10 squats, lunges and see how long I can hold a plank (and do another after that). It will have to wait until the kids are asleep though. Hubby is also working nights the next few nights, so it's going to be even harder to get that exercise in. But I feel like i want to do it, so we'll see. I'll update about this again.

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And an extra pic - I just found this now:

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